Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.