I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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