Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time