I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.