It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Who did Billy Mays play for?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
