She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
