Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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