Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
