i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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