He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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