your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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