you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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