Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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