is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
