whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Boobs are out for the taking
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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