were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
