Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
