I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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