garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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