i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just cut my nipple shaving
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
zippers are such a cool invention
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
