WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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