I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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