yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
