What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
