I think I am morally bankrupt
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
