Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
