Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Bring me that man meat
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize