it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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