FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
