An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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