i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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