yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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