I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
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i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
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We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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