He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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