i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize