You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
