Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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