if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
