I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
