What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The air taste purple.
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