fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
