I wanna passion pit in your ass
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
