I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
BRING THE BAGELS
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
