I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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