ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
