guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
