Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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