hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
