Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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