found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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