I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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