Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
