me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
