Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
