to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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