Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
