That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
