windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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