i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
