successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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