This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
