Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
