piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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