i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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